One Lonely Night 2
Monday, December 7, 2009 9:13 AM /
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C: what can i do?
K: Need sum1 to talk to. .i feel lonely
C: ano ba prob?
K: No.nO. .n0thng happnd. .im just lonly. .mayb its xmas na,and its c0ld. .mayb im h0msick,mayb dahil nrin sa music na pinakikinggan ko. .do u sumtyms feel l0nly?and al0ne?and lyk. .y am i here al0ne?y i dnt hav sum1 to talk to?. .lyk theres sumthn wr0ng w/ me
C: s0mtyms. .but im busy with work
K: Oh.yea.u hav w0rk.eh ako wla pa. .kaya cguro npapaicip lagi. .Ű
i mustered enough courage on what to ask next. .
K: Can i ask sumthn pers0nal?
C: wat?
K: Ask lng q what u feel b0ut me. Wen u c me. .Or wen u thnk b0ut me.anung iniicp mo?or nraramdaman.?Do u still have feelings f0r me?
C: Y?Do u lyk me?
What the heck. Ako nga ang nagtatanong eh. Kakainis naman ang isang ito.
K: hindi naman
C: So y r u askng me as 2 my filings tward u?
K: I askd u 1st
C: Answr mine.Wt do u fil abt me
K: I want to hang out with u just lyk dati bt as a frend. .i lyk being with u.bt since nang snbi m0 na gusto m0 ng relaxnshp,i cudnt go further
Somewhere in my memory, I remembered our first meeting, what we talked about, the hot choco C ordered for me because I was still a kid, and I, being stubborn to be treated like one, refused the chocolate drink and instead ordered some hot tea which tasted really bad. And after that, more meetings, more orders of coffee for C and iced tea for me. And somewhere after that I was crying on the sidewalk with C begging, rejected.
C: den why r u asking me ds?
K: F u hav feelings 4 me, C. .then it wud b hard on ur part dhil alam ko na sobra ka talagang magmahal..
C: F i hav filings 4 u. .I wud nt stop tellng u.
That hurt a bit.
K: Xo im way past over ur head? but what if i t0ld u na i l0ve u?
C: Hmm.Wla.No reactn.Cs I knw ur lyng. .2log na
K: sleepy na?
C: Hindi pa naman..I just thnk ur tryd,cs ur being funy
K: Di m0 ata ako sneryoso eh. .
C: Ű cos ur lying.Tpos nagtatagalog ka pa
I realized that I haven't told C that I am away for my OJT.
K: Im n0t.im serious.im upset and l0nly nga eh.
C: Naging upset and lnely kalng.tapos lov mo na ko.instant naman yan.Hehe
And the thoughts came pouring out.
K: Im sorry. .its just that. .I saw my X 2weeks ago. .i dnt knw kung nkita nya ako. .i was crossing the street. .papunta sa kanya. .i hav n0 ch0ice bt to go ahead. .L was talkin to sum1 on the ph0ne so i just walkd pas dscreetly. .we wer n0t in gud terms dhil un0ficial ang breakup,and i was very hurt and bittr considrng it was my 1st relaxnshp. .and on my way h0me i listnd to my playlist and a s0ng stuckd in my head thnkin abt what cud hav beens. .what if,what if. I remembrd us,u saying to give us a chance. .what if,what if
I don't know how's C taking all this. I know it was unfair for me to drag C into this. I just needed someone to confide.
K: Can i ask u again sumthin pers0nal? Aftr we stopd seein each othr nung skuldays na. .wer u in a rel with sum1?
I couldn't help checking if there's someone else in C's life considering the brief and mysterious responses I got. But I was not prepared for the response.
C: Just prov ur lov.N wel c frm there.
K: I was asking u a hypothethical question
C: Huh?Do u lov me or do u want a frnd?
K: A frend.
C: ...I dnt lyk u.Sori
K: What does that mean?!
C: I dnt wnt u 2 b a frd.Ű
I switched off my phone and tried to sleep. I don't want to make things more complicated.Labels: bumpy, emo, fantasy, ken chua, love, what if
0 Couldn't Keep His Mouth Shut
Ken Chua would no longer go underground unless the notorious Martial Law II is declared. He is partly convinced that all his pent-up thoughts are spilled in this account.